Monday, June 17, 2019

क्यूँ नहीं

राह, हौसला, साथ, यह तैयारी यूँ नहीं
ज़हन में है जो घर, वो दिखता क्यूँ नहीं ।

ईद, क़ुरान, मसजिद, यह सोच का जुनूं नहीं,
तू करता तो है सजदा, असर दिखता क्यूँ नहीं ।

क़स्बा, जात, मज़हब, यह जिस्मों  से रिस्ता खूं वहीं,
दीवारें तो बहुत बनाई, एक छत मगर क्यूँ नहीं ।

घर, मोहल्ले, गलियारे, यहां हुजूम को सुकूं नहीं,
जला है जो तेरा घर, तो धुंआ उठा क्यूँ नहीं ।

दोस्त, हमदम, दुश्मन, तू जो चाहे मैं हूँ वही,
में तेरे साथ हूँ मगर, तू मेरे साथ क्यूँ नहीं ।

Friday, June 14, 2019

यहीं कहीं

कुछ ज़ीस्त का भोज है और कुछ हिज्र की लज़्ज़त है,
यह खुदी का तकाज़ा है, वो मेहबूब का प्यार है ।

कुछ गुस्ताख बदमिजाज़ी है और कुछ बेतकल्लुफ सी चुप्पी है,
यह दरिया की रवानी है, वो समंदर का दयार है ।

कुछ दाग दाग सा उजाला है और कुछ रंगीन सी शाम है,
यह ईमान का क़सीदा है ,वो हरम का मयार है ।

कुछ सलीकेदार किताबें हैं और कुछ छलकते जाम हैं,
यह होश की ख़िज़ाँ हैं, वो बेखुदी की बहार है ।

कुछ मायूस सी छतें हैं और कुछ खामोश सा गलियारा है
यह मुर्दों का शहर है, वो बुत्तों का बाज़ार है ।

कुछ अधूरी सी हसरतें हैं और कुछ नंगी सी आहे हैं,
यह मेरी शायरी की कब्र है, यही  मेरी ग़ज़लों की मज़ार है ।

Wednesday, November 1, 2017

Ought to be killed

  1. The guy who replies with "K".
  2. The guy with a collage of his solo pics.
  3. The guy who wears boxers to the movies.
  4. The guy who refers to himself in third person.
  5. The guy who volunteers for Karaoke.
  6. The guy who hashtags a hashtag.
  7. The guy who says the movie is better than the book.
  8. The third guy who sneaks under the umbrella.
  9. The guy who holds a imaginary microphone while he sings.
  10. The guy whose air guitar is out of sync.
  11. The guy who wears "I am with stupid" T-shirts.
  12. The guy who pouts.
  13. The guy who complements your undies.
  14. The guy who watches hours of golf.
  15. The guy who accompanies his friend into the ATM vestibule.
  16. The guy who holds a imaginary gun as he raps.
  17. The guy who indulges in Tea Vs Coffee debates.
  18. The guy who wears LED Sneakers.
  19. The guy who starts his sentence with "Tch Tch Tch."
  20. The guy who won't criticize his own religion.
  21. The guy who shows off his vocabulary.
  22. The guy who shares "Can't keep calm cuz it my birthday" pics.
  23. The guy who wears crocs to office.
  24. The guy who starts his sentences with "You wouldn't guess."
  25. The guy who honks at a red signal.
  26. The guy who farts in the meeting room.
  27. The guy who rides pillion and wont stop giving driving instructions.
  28. The guy with"kewl" embedded somewhere in his email Id.
  29. The guy who is unable to decide what to order at McDonald's.
  30. The guy who puts his pet's pic as his profile picture.
  31. The guy with an album titled "Random" on social media.
  32. The guy with a fake accent.

Tuesday, October 31, 2017

To all those who wonder

1.      If your stalker goes missing and you go looking for him/her, who is the stalker then?
2.      What do you call a person who goes about killing serial killers?
3.      Driver drives a car, a player plays, why is fucker an abuse then?
4.      If you shoot an illegal arms dealer, are you increasing gun violence or decreasing it?
5.      Isn’t necrophilia sex but without all the unnecessary screaming and moaning?
6.      What does the appraisal cycle for a suicide bomber looks like?
7.      If there are infinite worlds, does the idea of infinite worlds exist in some of those infinite worlds?
8.      Isn’t ice just water but with a hard on?
9.      If a single nuclear bomb can wipe out the entire planet, why do they care about aiming it at a specific target point?
10.  In a competition to judge the biggest looser, isn’t the guy who lost the winner?
11.  When the astronaut is in outer space, does all his fame still go to his head?
12.  How is “have a blast” a positive connotation?
13.  How is “break a leg” a positive connotation?
14.  Only the strongest write the history. Oh Really! Why don’t they force the weak to write it?
15.  If you get hit by a speeding ambulance, would you still go the hospital in the same ambulance?
16.  Why is it called a flyer if it simply rests on your windscreen?
17.  How would you know if a whore is having an affair?
18.  If we are all God's children, exactly how much sex did God have?
19.  How do deep sea creatures know when it is raining?
20.  If a beggar did not beg from you, is he a chooser?
21.  If God only creates white, black or brown people, is it because that he is color blind?
22.  Was H.G. Wells’s The Invisible man inspired by God?
23.  Why don’t the Grammar Nazi wonder that being called any kind of Nazi isn’t a good proposition?
24.  What exactly is the screensaver saving?
25.  If sky is the limit, then aren’t we limiting the limit?
26.  Weren’t you killing your curiosity when you killed the cat?
27.  Glass hall full or half empty. Who cares when you drink from the bottle?
28.  If revenge is best served cold, is it a delicacy for the Eskimos?
29.  Why do they allow you to sign the sign board?
30.  In the long run we are all dead, what do marathon runners think of it?
31.  If opposites attract, then why don’t the white and the blacks live in harmony?
32.  If time travel became a real thing, would they be offering us frequent flyers option?
33.  If all of us start using luxury brands, would the concept on luxury brand still be there?
34.  Why don’t they have wipers on helmet visors?
35.  Why did the chicken cross the road? Well, did you see it crossing the road? Maybe it didn’t.
36.  Don’t you wonder if they put statutory warnings on a RDX shipment?
37.  What game do golfers play when they retire?
38.  When in Rome, what happens if you don’t do what the Romans do?
39.  Why do they call it the crash course?
40.  If you convince a guy to kill himself, is it a suicide or a murder?
41.  How is time the only constant, when it changes every instant?
42.  Are the left wing right brained and vice versa?
43.  Did pole dance originate at North Pole?
44.  How can you drop a catch when you never even held it?
45.  If you can harness solar energy to solve power crisis why can’t you do the same with nervous energy?
46.   Is Bermuda triangle scalene, isosceles or equilateral?
47.  Are LSD addicts happy when acid rain starts pouring?
48.  If money grew on trees, where would the fruits grow?
49.  Can you have flavored pie charts?
50.  If you support the support team, who is the real supporter?
51.  Should an erection be called a high-rise?

52.  Was Jesus the first celebrity to be screwed?

Tuesday, December 1, 2015

The Dictionary of The Dispicable

You don't need a pen to be a poet
You don't need the crowd to start a riot

You don't need a cape to be a superhero
You don't need a scientist to tell which way the winds blow

You don't need sermons to believe in God
You don't need committees to figure out the fraud

You don't need weapons to commit crimes
You don't need second opinions to know the wrong times

You need to preserve all the literature
You need to know our end is not a pretty fixture

You need to realize what's yours will never truly be yours
You need to know the fate will be same for the queens and the whores

You need to brace yourself for the mass slaughter
You need to know there will more than one monster

You need to hear the warships gunning 
You need to know that we all got it coming

Monday, November 9, 2015

No Subscription For Resurrection

We are here to make shabby friends who will betray us during the most crucial of times. We are here to lie to our parents. We are here to falsify trust, care and devotion. We are here for one night stands. We are here to spend the best part of our lives drinking flat beer and watching sub-standard television. We are here to dub noise as music. We are here to kill art and stab our minds with propaganda. We are here to breed pure evil and watch the annihilation of our race.

We are here to strain our eyes on the plasma screens. We are here to surrender our hearing to the loudspeakers.  We are here to run on treadmills and hop on the escalators. We are here for silicone implants and to buy expensive cosmetics. We are here to wear uncomfortable clothes and to stuff our faces with makeup.We are here to fight for closet spaces and TV remotes. We are here for heavy discounts and off season sales.We are here to complain about battery drainages and mismatched GPS locations. We are here to pretend on the internet. We are here to re-think about life in traffic jams.We are here to struggle for our parking spaces. We are here for window shopping and failed relationships. 

We are here to read the graffiti on the urinals. We are here to wonder what happens when the music gets over. We are here for early heartbreak and late good riddance.  We are here for stunned silences. We are here to watch the halogen lamps flicker on cold nights. We are here to badmouth the rain. We are here to accuse the air conditioning and the internal heating. We are here to watch the icebergs melt. We are here to hear the mountains rumble. We are here to listen to the ocean's roar. 

We are here to drive fast cars and die slow deaths. We are semi-modern cavemen who have learned to fly across the globe while our shit still floats mid-air. We are here to despise gallantry.We are here to push buttons that trigger mass destruction. We are self-ticking time bombs sitting on a pile of our own bodies and killing time to await the sweet liberation of death. We are here to fight for our graves. We are here to write most epitaphs in history. We are here to witness the end of time.

We are not here to start all over again.

Saturday, September 5, 2015

The Dragon, The Madman, The Serpent and The Kraken

We will hold our breath as the Dragon flies us
High above the world, too small and too dark
No eternal reward for loving the Gods
No prudence for the jaded souls
Disobedience will be our only liberation

We will sit on  top on the lonely mountain
Watch the vultures fall dead into the abyss
Hear the roar of the madmen and the murderers
Witness the wind bury the severed heads
And the pests feed on the faces in the mud

We will descend the spiral steps
Through the rustic archway
And kiss the Serpent's head
Watch those emerald eyes glisten with lust
One last sin before the great exit

We will float on the ocean for a while
Before we feel the grip choking the blood out
The Kraken savours and devours them all
The warmest of beasts in the coldest of the waters
Birth or Death - In blood we end

And if you still have any life left to be taken,
I'll make sure that you are not mistaken
No of your deeds will be left unforsaken
For  I am The Dragon, The Madman, The Serpent and The Kraken.
Smiling on you, when my job is done.

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